Look, a distraction!
[Most Recent Entries]
[Calendar View]
[Friends]
Below are the 20 most recent journal entries recorded in
Terrie's LiveJournal:
[ << Previous 20 ]
| Thursday, July 9th, 2009 | | 8:06 pm |
| | Saturday, July 4th, 2009 | | 9:08 pm |
Yuck
I'm developing a dislike for the 4th. The idiots across the street are setting off major fireworks. They've set off the surrounding car alarms at least three times so far. | | Monday, June 29th, 2009 | | 11:08 am |
Can I go back to bed?
I spent too much time this weekend hanging out with friends. Okay, yes, I got a fair amount of stuff done, but I think I had a little too much fun. No, I didn't get drunk. I don't really drink. The problem is that a handful of my friends smoke. And when we get together, and we're outside, they indulge. A lot. I have problems with cigarette smoke. It causes some serious irritation to my throat. In fact, my throat is still sore this morning, and probably will be for another day or two. :( The real bummer is that it increases my chances of getting an Upper Respitory Infection. What's the major URI going around right now? Why, swine flu, of course! I'm tempted to buy all my smoking friends nicotine gum, 'cause I really don't want to get swine flu. I didn't get home until around 1:30 AM last night, so I'm pretty darned tired. I mean, I'm reasonably alert; it's a physical tired, not a mental one. My muscles actually ache. Probably going to make for a fairly long day. Despite those downsides, I had an awesome weekend. Current Mood:  working | | Monday, June 22nd, 2009 | | 12:16 pm |
Holy shit!
When I got up this morning, there was a bird in my bathroom. Okay, not all the way in the bathroom, just most of the way. It had apparently worked it's way in through the outer exhaust fan, the pipe and the inner intake fan to my bathroom's fan, and was stuck between the inner fan and the cover. Totally surreal. In other news, I'm so damned tired. I only got 4 hours of sleep Sat. night, and while I got a lot last night, it still wasn't enough. | | Thursday, June 18th, 2009 | | 9:25 am |
Dear Sir....
If you have the audacity to actually say that you would like to "speaking to someone older," don't be surprised when I repeat your request word for word to the person I call to help you. If you don't like the way it sounds, you shouldn't have said it in the first place. And you're lucky our oldest and most experienced librarian is out for dental work. She'd simply tell you that we've given you everything we have and if it's not what you wanted, tough. Those of us who are younger are actually much more accomodating, because we haven't burned out with cynisism yet. | | Wednesday, June 17th, 2009 | | 9:23 am |
The Stupid, It Burns! (Literally).
Last night, while walking the dog, I got to see proof of exactly how stupid people can be. There's a park right down the street from my apartment complex where I walk Zeus, and you'll often see groups of teenagers hanging around the tiny basketball area in the afternoons. Yesterday, there was a group there that was a bit... different. One of them was sparying another one in the face with pepper spray while a third filmed it on his cell phone. The kid who got sprayed started declaring that it burned and hurt. "You knew it would hurt." "Not this much!" And people wonder why I'm cynical about the future of the human race. | | Tuesday, June 9th, 2009 | | 12:45 pm |
Odd dreams
Last night, my dreams combined Will Farrell's movie, Elf, a gamer version of Go Fish! that crossed it with D&D, getting mugged by a girl who used to bully me in the fitfth grade andthe subsequent search for where she lived so we could turn her over to the police and two members of the US Men's Gymnastics team doing their routine on the rings. Oh, and a rampaging ex-boyfriend who was angry because he's found out I'd only dated him because I was undercover for the DEA. Honestly, sometimes I wish my life was half as interesting as what goes on in my head. Current Mood:  dorky | | Wednesday, June 3rd, 2009 | | 9:29 am |
For all my flaws, I can proudly say that I have never caused a network to be inflitraited by what is proving to be a very stubborn virus. The last couple days have been crazy at work, because our reference computer has been infected (more than once), as well as several of our office computers. The poor IT people are working their butts off trying to stay ahead of this thing. | | Saturday, May 30th, 2009 | | 11:22 am |
Something a bit cheerful
Lots of my anxiety-fueled negatives thoughts lately. So I'll give you a bit of relief with something fun! I went with a bunch of friends to see UP. Go see it. Especially if you like dogs. It was wonderful. Sad at parts, funny at others, and very, very cute. My favorite part? The dog, Dug, tells a joke. "A squirrel walks up to a tree and says 'I forgot to gather any acorns. And I'm dead.' See, it's funny because the squirrel is dead." Current Mood:  amused | | 11:07 am |
Still struggling
So, I haven't posted about this, because I'm still a mess. My boss totally chewed me out over the "missing work Sunday" thing. Not because I missed work, but because I didn't tell her right away. I had planned to speak with her in person, but she wasn't in, so I floundered on the issue. Unfortunately, she heard about it in connection to something else before I finished floundering, and proceeded to yell at me over the phone. Of, I'm sure she wouldn't call it yelling. But it was that instense "I am very upset" voice and she accused me of trying to cover up my mistakes or deny they happened. I totally froze. Could barely answer her direct questions, let alone defend myself. And then she got angry that I didn't immediately apologize. I was too busy trying not to cry. The only way she could have hit more of my anxiety trigger points is if she'd had a list that she was checking off. It's frustrating, because the one person who is screwing up my head is the one person with a fair amount of power over me. If it were anyone else, it would be much easier. In my personal life, I have a great support system. My pdoc and therapist are wonderful. No, the one person who could really force me to leave, (would have to move to switch jobs and stay in my field), is the one who may do just that. Bah. | | Monday, May 25th, 2009 | | 11:13 am |
I'm being punished
The dog must have gotten into something, because he was massively ill in the middle of my living room. The stench is... UGH. It pervades the whole apartment. I've got the balcony door open and the window, but I may need to leave for a while to let the place air out. Current Mood:  nauseated | | 7:57 am |
Oh, Fuck
I was supposed to work yesterday from noon - 4pm. It's an irregular thing that we rotate among ourselves. I totally blanked yesterday. Hell, I kept thinking it was Saturday, because we're closed today and that threw me off schedule. But no one called to ask why I wasn't in. So, hopefully, it was quiet. *crosses fingers* | | Friday, May 15th, 2009 | | 12:02 pm |
Uh-oh
The ads for FOX's new series, Mental, make me nervous. The last show that tried to tackle mental health and treatment was pretty bad, showing violent, dangerous crazy people. The last thing the world needs is another show like that. Current Mood:  nervous | | Thursday, May 7th, 2009 | | 2:17 pm |
| | 8:17 am |
The Universe hates me
Yesterday, a bird flew into my car whie I was driving to work. Car's fine, but I had no clue about the bird. I was in the middle of moving traffic and couldn't exactly stop and check. Today, on that same block, I see... a dead bird in the middle of the road, its feathers moving slightly in the breeze created by the moving cars. One thing anxiety tends to share with depression. You develop an amazing ability to blame yourself for all kinds of shit. So now I feel guilty that a bird flew into my car and died. Logically, I know that's silly. I had no control over the situation. Still feel crappy about it. Poor bird. | | Thursday, April 30th, 2009 | | 2:52 pm |
Something more cheerful from me
Am doing better bit by bit. Went to visit family and spent time with friends, both of which helped. Now, for something that has nothing to do with my mental health issues. ( I will derive ) | | Sunday, April 12th, 2009 | | 9:14 am |
Still bad
Still a mess. More control, I guess, but I've been so stressed I've barely eaten anything and the low blood sugar doesn't help. The bitter irony? The morning before all this started I had a psych appointment and we talked about how stable I'd been. So much for stable. But I have help lined up and I just need to focus on getting through the next few days. Or, heck, the next few hours or minutes sometimes. If I can do that, I'll be okay. | | Friday, April 10th, 2009 | | 7:27 am |
Doing slightly better, but my brain is still spinning in place. Have an appointment with a therapist for Tues. Going home to see folks on Wends. Have to work Sunday, which sucks, because I'd forgotten and was going to spend the day with my aunt. And, of course, no one is going to be coming in on Easter. | | Thursday, April 9th, 2009 | | 7:00 am |
Ugh
So I had my annual review. It only went... so-so. A couple good points and an hour and half of what I need to work on. It doesn't help that I almost had a panic attack in the middle of it. We talked about how I have to step up my efforts. A lot of my colleagues keep schedules that would kill me. Literally. It would be slow and gradual, but I'd end up hospitalized as I wore down my reserves and my already low weight slowly dropped. I did it in grad school, pushing myself to hard. It was bad. I dropped to 105 lbs. I started to look like those pictures tabloids put out under headlines of "Star X Anorexic?" The idea of that happening again terrifies me. It was a month of rest to get back to a healthy state. So now I'm disappointed with myself, embarrassed to have behaved like that in front of my boss and scared of my job. The easiest thing would be to find a less demanding job, one that isn't tenure track. But there are things I love about my job. And I love this city. I don't want my fears to prevent me from things, but I don't want to surpass my limits, either. I'm shaky, exhausted and I still have to go into work. Really hating my life right now. My OCD is flaring big time, and I can't stop the thoughts in my head. I know I'll be okay in a couple days, but right now? Not so much. ETA: Talked to my mom. Cried a lot. Called my psychiatrist's office, am getting referral for a therapist. Before I really do anything, I need to have someone help me figure out what my limits are. | | Monday, April 6th, 2009 | | 10:54 am |
Crappy monday
My annual review meeting was supposed to be today. It just got rescheduled for Wednesday. By all means, let's prolong the agony. |
[ << Previous 20 ]
|